Is it still gossip if you tell the truth?
Is it still gossip if you tell the truth?
Is it wrong to gossip if the information is accurate? That doesn’t violate the Eighth Commandment, does it? The one that prohibits giving false testimony against your neighbor?
False testimony, not good. Alright. However, a genuine narrative … let’s see. This appears to have some potential.
Maybe the issue lies with the term “gossip.” So let’s use “share” instead. Is it wrong to share if the narrative is accurate? I don’t want to come off as overly sanctimonious, but as Catholics, aren’t we obligated to convey the truth?
Hold on! Could this imply that spreading rumors … um … conveying the truth is the appropriate action? Should we even label it sacred!? Let’s examine what the Catechism of the Catholic Church states regarding the Big VIII:
“The eighth commandment prohibits the distortion of reality in our interactions with others. This ethical directive arises from the calling of the holy community to testify to their God, who embodies the truth and desires the truth. Violations of the truth communicated through speech or action signify a rejection of dedication to moral integrity: they represent essential betrayals of God and, in this light, they weaken the bases of the covenant.” (No. 2464)
So refrain from lying. Okay. Even though “lie” seems severe. Let’s refer to it as providing “false truth.” However, if you possess information that is accurate — and, if you’re fortunate, it’s something particularly intriguing — then you can let it out. Correct? Incorrect.
Transgressions against the eighth
Returning to the Catechism (No. 2477), it further states:
1. “Honoring the dignity of individuals prohibits any behavior or statement that could unfairly harm them. He [a gossiper] is held accountable:
“– of hasty conclusions who, even implicitly, takes as fact, without adequate basis, the ethical wrongdoing of a neighbor;”
[Indicating that it is inadvisable to hurry in releasing the narrative and to concern oneself afterward with its accuracy or specific details.]
2. “– [is guilty] of detraction who, lacking an objectively sound reason, reveals another’s shortcomings and mistakes to individuals who were unaware of them;”
[“Forgive me, Father, for I have erred. … I engaged in detraction on three occasions.” De-what-sion? Behind-the-scenes unkind remarks that rob another individual of his or her reputation. Even more troubling, from A Catholic Dictionary“He who by hearing slander actively or passively supports it, commits the same sin as the slanderer.”
3. “– [is deemed guilty] of defamation who, through statements that contradict the truth, injures the reputation of others and provides grounds for erroneous assessments about them.”
[“Calumny” appears to be somewhat of an antiquated word, akin to “telephone booth,” but it refers to making a false or misleading claim, typically meant to mislead or be unjust. This includes conveying the truth in a manner that is deceptive. “I spotted Bob at the spaghetti dinner yesterday evening and I believe he was sober!” Suggesting that he is typically not.]
The Catechism entry wraps up with: “To prevent hasty conclusions, individuals ought to be diligent in interpreting, as much as possible, their neighbor’s intentions, statements, and actions positively” (No. 2478).
Extend people the benefit of the uncertainty. In other terms: “Keep your large mouth closed.” (“Bazoo” refers to mouth, originating in the late 19th century and whose source is unclear; possibly linked to the Dutch. bazuin, signifying “trombone, trumpet.”)
Plead the fifth
Oh, but hold on. There’s additional information. It’s not mere chatter that God has another motive for you to keep quiet. It’s known as the Fifth Commandment.
Oh, give me a break. Really? “You shall not kill” (Ex 20:13). There’s no violence happening here. Except perhaps a brief pause with some colleagues during a work break, or a small, chosen group of churchgoers savoring coffee and donuts post-Sunday Mass.
| ‘Bite Your Tongue’ |
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During his visit to Bangladesh last December, Pope Francis set aside his prepared talk to bishops, priests, men and women religious, seminarians and novices and told them: “There are many enemies of harmony, many indeed. I always like to mention one, which can suffice as an example. Maybe someone can criticize me for saying the same thing over and over, but for me it is essential. The enemy of harmony in a religious community, a presbyterate, an episcopate and a seminary is the spirit of gossip. This is not something I invented: two thousand years ago, a certain James spoke about it in a letter that he wrote to the Church. The tongue, my brothers and sisters, the tongue. What destroys a community is speaking ill of others. Dwelling on the faults of others. Not speaking to the person, but saying things to others and thus creating an environment of distrust, an environment of suspicion, an environment in which there is no peace, but division. There is one image I like to use in describing the spirit of gossip. It is terrorism. Yes, terrorism, because those who speak ill of others do not do so publicly. The terrorist does not say publicly: “I’m a terrorist.” And those who speak ill of others, do so in secret: they speak to someone, throw the bomb and off they go. And the bomb wreaks havoc. And the bomb-thrower goes off serenely to throw another bomb. Dear sister, dear brother, when you want to speak ill of another person, bite your tongue! Most probably, it will swell up, but you will not wrong your brother or your sister.” You can find the complete talk here: https://tinyurl.com/FrancisOnGossip; and a video (beginning with the above section) here: https://tinyurl.com/FrancisOnGossipVideo. |
Alright. Let’s examine this: Would it be considered a transgression against the Big V (that is, 5) to merely injure someone? “Truly injure?” you inquire. Well, we can all concur that this would be prohibited. How about striking, stumbling, hitting on the head, or body checking? (Hockey enthusiasts understand what we’re referring to here and we don’t mean on the rink.)
What about a slight jab? Intended to injure, not entice. (The latter could fit into a conversation about the Sixth Commandment. Adultery!) You understand the idea. We imaginative individuals are aware of numerous methods to cause suffering to others, which includes giving false testimony and, frequently, accurate testimony.
Yet regardless of how pleasurable it might be, or how much influence or status it might confer upon us, it’s simply impossible to force that square peg of gossip into the round hole of “Love one another as I love you” (Jn 15:12) and “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Lk 6:31).
So avoid gossiping. Completely. End of story. End of story? No, it’s not that straightforward to achieve, because gossiping, like nearly every vice, is simply enjoyable. In the moment. Gossiping is thrillingly wicked, the kind of thing that feels exclusive. At that instant, in that instant, we revel in it. Pleasant to share, pleasant to listen to, pleasant to “pass it on.” And, similar to numerous vices, the hurt and harm extend far and wide. As far and wide as a stone thrown into a lake.
Scripture helps
Fortunately, there are individuals willing to assist you. Here’s some advice and considerations to keep in mind, starting with a strong recommendation — directive — from God:
“You must not circulate gossip among your community. … I am the LORD” (Lv 19:16).
“If someone believes he is devout but fails to control his speech, thus misleading his heart, his faith is worthless” (Jas 1:26).
“Do not slander each other, brothers” (Jas 4:11).
“Anyone who disseminates falsehoods is unwise” (Prv 10:18).
“One who gossips discloses secrets, but a reliable individual maintains trust” (Prv 11:13).
“Twisted words create conflict, and gossip divides close companions” (Prv 16:28).
“A gossip discloses hidden matters; thus, avoid engaging with a chatterbox!” (Prv 20:19)
A “babbler”! If an individual consistently shares tales about others in their absence, what might he or she be communicating about you when you’re not present?
Now that’s a disturbing idea.
