Throughout this journey, I regret to mention, she is not isolated. A 2021 Pew survey discovered that 3 out of 10 adults in the U.S. characterize their religion as “nothing in particular.” The largest decline is among those who previously identified as Christians — primarily Protestants. The trending term in the Christian community for this shift is “deconstruction.”

Deconstruction as a means to stronger belief

Deconstruction is a phrase that, although it has a more formal meaning, appears to be utilized informally to include a broad range of experiences and choices. For certain Christians, like Assad, deconstruction results in a dismissal of — or at the very least a distancing from — faith entirely, adopting a stance of being “spiritual but not religious,” or accepting an uncertainty regarding a higher power that someone may or may not have faith in. Conversely, for some, deconstruction serves as a means to a more profound, solid belief in specific truths that the individual has always maintained, even while other concepts are abandoned.

The term implies that this procedure involves disassembling ideas that were previously organized in a specific manner, and either eliminating them or rearranging them in a new sequence. Comparable to the term “synodality,” I believe that “deconstruction” is a sophisticated phrase for something that every Christian is quite familiar with: the ongoing process in which an adult consistently merges their faith with their life as they age.

Dealing with actuality

One might compare “effective” deconstruction to the tale that C.S. Lewis narrates regarding the dwelling in “Mere Christianity“When you start to take your journey of following Jesus seriously, you envision constructing a charming little dwelling from your soul — there are parts that you recognize need care, so you tidy them up and feel like you’re making progress. But then Jesus begins rearranging walls and initiating changes that you never anticipated: because he is not creating the quaint house you envisioned, but instead a home for himself. This transformation occurs in the life of every dedicated Christian. You hold beliefs that must face the truth, and occasionally, something has to give way. During this journey, you discover what truly matters and what does not. There are many beliefs you or I hold to be valid that do not fit into the realm of divine revelation or are critical for salvation. And sometimes, those might need to be let go.”

For instance, I encountered an individual not long ago who holds the conviction that donning a (medical) mask during Mass is an act of sacrilege. His belief is so intense that throughout the pandemic he declined to participate in Mass altogether if masks were necessary. This is a notion that I believe should be examined critically. The majority of Catholics (including, seemingly, the pope and the bishops) do not share this individual’s view on wearing masks, and that reality should make him reconsider. However, he acquired that belief from some source, and it is intertwined with various other convictions regarding God and the Eucharist. This man will face an inner struggle if he begins to question his stance on mask-wearing.

We are perpetually engaging in internal conflicts regarding belief — irrespective of whether that belief is accurate or inaccurate. We listen to the murmur, “What if…?” The claims of Christianity are significant assertions, and it would be unwise to regard the deconstruction movement as entirely alien to faith. Instead, contemplating the truth of beliefs and probing into the significance of existence is an inherent human endeavor, regardless of the label you assign to it.

Inquiring does not render one an unbeliever; deconstruction need not conclude in a heap of debris.

The good of doubt?

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (who later became Pope Benedict XVI) commences his renowned piece “Introduction to Christianity“with a segment titled, “Doubt and Belief — Humanity’s Condition Concerning the Matter of God.” In this section, he cautions followers that they are, “perpetually confronted with the uncertainty that in times of temptation can abruptly and unexpectedly illuminate the vulnerability of what typically appears so obvious to them.” The believer’s faith remains perpetually unstable, continually open to inquiries and the prospect of doubt.

Ratzinger writes of St. Therese of Lisieux, who is well-known for grappling with uncertainty towards the end of her life, acknowledging that the issue at hand was not a specific doctrine regarding X or Y, but rather, “the entire framework … all or nothing.”

Assad’s experience over the past few years illustrates this as well. She mentions that once she began to challenge the very basis of her convictions, “It collapsed like a house of cards for me.” In response, Ratzinger would likely remark, “Naturally it did.” However, he presents to us — both the faithful and the skeptical — a term that connects us, and that is “perhaps.”

Maybe it is accurate. And this is where we converge, all humans, because there is no definitive certainty in this existence. We understand that we will pass away, but what comes next? Both the Catholic and the “none” experience uncertainty and conviction. As Ratzinger remarks, “Neither can completely avoid either doubt or belief; for one, faith stands in opposition to doubt; for the other, through doubt and in the guise of doubt.”

‘But what if it actually is true?’

Just as I will perpetually wrestle with the question, “What if none of this is accurate?” Assad will now ponder, “But what if it indeed is?” This is something she concedes to Tenney at one instance, expressing her desire to have faith that ultimately, love will prevail. Ratzinger indicates that this uncertainty is exactly what enables us to connect with each other. “[Doubt] hinders both from achieving absolute self-fulfillment; it allows the believer to engage with the doubter and the doubter to engage with the believer.”

Audrey Assad believed she had to depart from the Church to transform into a more accepting individual, a more modest individual, someone who does not have all the solutions. It is unfortunate that she was unaware that she could embody all those qualities without departing and that struggling with faith is a common experience. The apostle Thomas declared he wouldn’t accept belief unless he placed his fingers into Jesus’ hands and his hand into Christ’s side. We skeptics — which includes all of us, to some extent — are in excellent company.