From where does it originate?

The wish to express “God forbid” stems from a place of kindness; a place filled with empathy and generosity. We utter “God forbid” because we envision facing that burden ourselves, which we find intolerable. When considering events we hope won’t occur, it is frequently the blessings we often overlook in our own experiences. It is those who are blissfully married (not the ones in unhappy unions) who remark, “God forbid you will never find a partner.” It is women who have managed to conceive and give birth with relative ease who say “God forbid you will never have children.” Those who have faced challenges with infertility or miscarriage don’t make that statement. The presence of a gift in our lives does not imply that it is bestowed upon everyone. A part of growing up is becoming aware that everything is a gift (or, as St. Thérèse expressed it, everything is a grace).

We don’t frequently utilize the phrase “God forbid,” naturally. More commonly, we express sentiments such as, to the unmarried individual: “I’m confident you will find someone!”; to those without children: “Don’t fret, I had my youngest at 43”; to the companion waiting for news on their health: “I’m certain it’s nothing serious.” In response to all these remarks, Christians must say (to themselves, not to the kind-hearted friend, of course): “Be gone from me, Satan.” Those offering such statements are unaware of what lies ahead, and neither do you.

The understanding and guidance of God

The blessing of Christianity is the unwavering assurance that particular events occurring or not occurring do not alter God’s affection for us or his design for our redemption. Followers of Christ must embrace the cross, and no one can foresee the burden that may be placed on those we cherish. The cross that each individual bears — specifically crafted — is intended solely for them and no one else. This renders acceptance both more challenging (“Why me?”) and simpler (“Why not me?”) — and as Jesus assures, his yoke is gentle, his load light.

I do not believe individuals intend to challenge God’s intentions by presuming that He would not allow someone to experience suffering in X or Y manner; it could be they simply lack alternative words. May I recommend refraining from making any predictive statements entirely, and keeping in mind that, “The future belongs to God, not to us,” as noted by Cistercian Brother Christian de Cherge. “The future resembles a tunnel. You cannot discern anything within, and only a fool would anticipate that it appears the same when exiting as when entering it.”

A fallen world

Even the well-known adage that “God would not place a desire in you that he does not mean to satisfy” is, to my understanding, absurd. We exist in a broken world; numerous virtuous aspirations remain unmet. Many individuals wished for larger families than they were capable of having; many have a passion for ministry or the arts but are compelled to pursue other employment to provide for their loved ones; many would have preferred to become a doctor but were unable to succeed in organic chemistry.

None of us can predict what might be requested of others by God, which encompasses our parents, partners, offspring, and companions. Lent is an excellent opportunity to direct our awareness toward our thought and speech patterns that might align more closely with God’s intentions than they presently do. Therefore, prior to expressing opinions about the future to those dear to us, particularly our children, we ought to ensure that our remarks center on the only constants: God’s affection for them and his scheme for their salvation.

These are the sole hopes and prayers we should cling to, and they remain genuine, regardless of the challenges that may arise ahead. By adhering to this principle, no one will be able to liken us to the tempter, as Christ did with Peter.

Sara Perla is the communications manager for The Catholic Project at The Catholic University of America. She sits on the board of directors for the Gabriel Network.