In God’s big family, we are all distinctly and individually loved
In God’s big family, we are all distinctly and individually loved
Large families seem quite crazy to me. I have found myself wondering, “Goodness, how does she manage it?” when I observe a young mother encircled by toddlers, all of them hopping up and down while chattering and vying for her focus. Occasionally, I pause and subtly tally the number of tiny heads that are part of the group, and I experience a small epiphany. Five, six, seven ….
… Oh. I actually had even more children than that.
However, it certainly appears overwhelming from the outside. It is quite a bit. ANY number of children is considerable! One child is a handful! Yet, there were 10 in total. It’s no surprise that people were constantly gazing at us. I understand now. Some of my children have left home, and none are particularly young anymore, and although I haven’t fully transitioned to being an empty nester, I’m far enough along to perceive it from a distance. I recognize how we seemed to others when we were truly in the midst of it: lovely, but undeniably quirky.
A group of persons
One reason for this is that, from an external perspective, a large family appears precisely that way: a big family. A household. If you recognize a handful of prominent families merely by appearance, and not on a personal level, you likely refer to them as “the one with all the noisy, red-haired children” or “the one whose members resemble farmers.” More than a few individuals have remarked that we’re “that family with all the hair,” which I completely understand is not the most negative way we could be characterized.
The fact is, when a family has numerous children, it can appear somewhat confusing from an external perspective. Those not involved might observe that the family members tend to resemble one another, and they seem to be mingling around the parents. You might be able to identify the eldest and the newest addition, but in between — who can say? They’re simply part of the crowd.
Yet trust me when I state that this is not the perspective that the parents hold, unless something has truly gone astray in the household. Occasionally, the incorrect name slips from my lips when I’m addressing a child, but this is merely the usual chaos of my mind, and it doesn’t imply that I am unaware of their identity. Each one of them is clearly distinct, and has been from the very beginning.
As a mother of a sizable family, I, like every good mom, family that I recognize, I take my children’s uniqueness incredibly seriously, and they don’t appear to be a homogeneous group to me, nor have they ever. They don’t even particularly resemble each other in my eyes, except in brief moments now and then. I created each of them individually, one by one, and even though they were born quite close together and grew up in relatively similar environments, they have consistently been so very different and distinct from one another. It has always been shocking and strange to understand that, to those outside our family, we appear to be some kind of indistinct jumble of humanity, merely a sort of Fisher collective.
The domestic church
We must approach our large family as a collective in certain aspects, purchasing substantial quantities of food and oversized vehicles, sharing clothes, and organizing activities based on the understanding that parents cannot be in two places at once and cannot fulfill every single wish of our 10 individual children, no matter how beloved they are. However, in other respects, we aimed (with varying degrees of success) to view them as, and to communicate to them that they are, individual, and individually significant; distinct, and distinctly valuable.
Certainly, there is a purpose we call the family as “the domestic church.” Every family represents a miniature (or in certain instances, a considerably larger) reflection of the one, holy, Catholic, apostolic church as a collective entity. This indicates that, similarly to a family, regardless of how expansive the Church becomes, it always consists of individuals. Individual Catholics who are separate, distinctly significant, one-of-a-kind, and uniquely precious in the sight of God.
Those outside the Church, along with fellow Catholics, and perhaps even clergy, bishops, and the pope himself, may perceive the Church as a singular entity, as a indistinct mass, akin to a Catholic borg. It occurs. It’s challenging to oversee a substantial community and not regard them as one cohesive group.
However, God never performs this action.
Uniquely cherished by God
God, with his peculiar, indescribable fusion of all-knowingness and deeply compassionate consideration for each person, is able, and seemingly never-ending in his willingness and dedication, to regard us as unique individuals. And he behaves in accordance with this perspective.
God never considers us as “part of the Church.” He never perceives us as “one of those humans” or “one of those sinners” or even “one of humanity I came to redeem.” He has a uniquely specific concern for me personally. He experiences a specific divine joy when I am joyful, and a specific divine sorrow when I am suffering. This is quite peculiar! Yet, it seems to be accurate. It appears to be how the entire framework (by which I refer to salvation history) was intended, and it’s why, whenever He encounters us through the sacraments, it’s always a deeply personal affair, very tactile, very individual. We don’t engage in this as a collective. It’s always one-on-one, even if there’s a multitude of individuals to navigate through.
It isn’t always reassuring to realize that we are unique in the sight of God. At times, we desire to fade into the background. We would prefer to blend into the masses and avoid notice by acting as though we are just an anonymous face.
But God, like any good mother, will not permit this. He cares for us too deeply and understands us too thoroughly to act as if there’s anyone comparable to us or anyone who could take our place. It would be wise to let him recognize us for our true selves, and to let him assist us in shaping our plans accordingly.
