How to give, receive and recognize gifts
How to give, receive and recognize gifts
It’s birthday month at our place, a season when four out of the five of us turn the page to embrace a fresh year and a new numeral. Coupled with Mother’s Day, year-end celebrations, new sacraments, and so forth, the cake and ice cream alone can quickly spiral into chaos.
The gifts turned out to be quite impactful — to the extent that my husband and I decided to limit our toddler, who is turning two, to just a few minor items this year. At that young age, everything is considered a toy, right? However, in reality, it hardly mattered what we selected for our little one since he hardly had the chance to enjoy his new treasures. His older siblings were lurking nearby — or should I say, right in front of him — fully poised and eager to put the new items to the test. After the toddler was tucked in, my husband reminded our six-year-old, who was still engaged with one of the new toys, to keep in mind whose present he was holding. “It belongs to John,” Joseph replied immediately, “and he’s asleep.”
Gifts we receive
These reflections have led me to dedicate some moments contemplating the blessings we come across in our lives. There are the gifts we obtain — the gifts of life, affection and redemption from our Creator; the blessings of nurturing, hours, and focus from our relatives and companions; the blessings of the Church and the sacraments; along with those seven gifts of the Holy Spirit bestowed upon the Apostles and Mary on Pentecost that uphold the ethical existence of Christians. These also encompass the tangible blessings we obtain — those signs of affection and consideration that, when given and accepted with the right mindset, can reinforce and nourish positive connections.
Gifts we give
Then there are the offerings that we present, particularly the offerings of our own selves: the sacrifices, both significant and minor, that we provide each day for the benefit of others, inspired by Christ’s self-giving on the cross and the ongoing gift he offers us in the Eucharist; the mutual exchange of love between a husband and wife; the selfless offering of ourselves, even in moments when we believe we have exhausted all that we can provide. As the fathers of the Second Vatican Council expressed in Gaudium et Spes, “man … cannot completely discover himself unless he makes a genuine offering of himself” (No. 24).
Presents we neither offer nor accept
And then there are the presents that are bestowed not upon ourselves but upon others. How do we react to those presents — to the items that we may witness, even those that we might consider ourselves worthy of, but cannot obtain for our own? The ninth and 10th commandments serve as boundaries to the inherent human tendency to jealousy. We must not desire anything that is owned by another — from relatives to personal belongings. (I’m referring to you, Big Kids.)
This can be challenging, as at times, others receive blessings that we do not. I recall friends who, even though wanting to be married, have not yet found a partner. I reflect on pairs who, for various reasons or for mysteries known solely to God, have struggled to bring a child into the world. I consider women, myself included, who have experienced the sorrow of miscarriage — whose treasures await them in heaven while their arms stay vacant here on earth. Or the blessing of good health when ours is lacking, or the blessing of steady employment for some when it is, for others, hard to come by.
Gratitude, we learn from an early age, is the appropriate reaction upon receiving a present. However, it is generosity that expands our hearts when it appears that others are thriving more than we are. A magnanimous heart fosters within us an attitude of perpetual gratitude, which St. Paul encourages us to embrace, helping us to overcome envy and empowering us to genuinely appreciate the blessings held by others. This is the teaching of the widow, who offered everything she owned (cf. Mk 12:42-44).
It is humility that enables us to see everything authentically as a gift. Cultivating the virtue of humility signifies that we instinctively consider others prior to considering ourselves — which encompasses the appreciation of their gifts.
Thankfulness, kindness, modesty — the formula for genuine Christian happiness and the gateways to paradise. Jesus, bestow upon us the grace to yearn for them.
