The demand that you say “Forgive me, Father” is strange and asks for something from you that the Church does not require. There is no instruction to use the phrase, “Forgive me, Father” instead of “Bless, me Father.”

For the sake of clarity, the outlined procedure for initiating the Sacrament of Confession is as detailed below, according to the Rite of Penance:

“When the sinner approaches to confess his wrongdoing, the priest receives him with warmth and greets him with compassion. The penitent then performs the Sign of the Cross, which the priest may also do, [saying] ‘In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.’ The priest encourages the penitent to place his faith in God, using these or comparable words: ‘May God, who has illuminated every heart, assist you in recognizing your sins and believing in his mercy.’ The penitent responds: ‘Amen.’”

Therefore, it is worth mentioning that the specified format does not contain “Forgive me, Father” or “Bless me, Father.” Nonetheless, the concluding line suggests that alternative expressions might be utilized. Additionally, the Rite of Penance also states:

“When pastoral necessity requires, the priest may skip or abbreviate certain sections of the rite but must always preserve completely the penitent’s acknowledgment of sins and acceptance of the penance, the invitation to sorrow, and the formulas of absolution and dismissal.”

I have journeyed extensively across the United States, and the majority of penitents start with the phrase, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” Although this differs from the more traditional opening outlined in the rite, variations and local traditions are permitted, and have essentially become the standard.

Thus, the rectification made by the priest reflects more his inclination than what is necessary from you. You are welcome to say, “Bless me, Father.”

Non-Catholic baptism

Question: As a Catholic, am I allowed to serve as a sponsor for my niece’s baptism in an Episcopal congregation?

— Name withheld, Washington, D.C.

Answer: Although I advise against it, it is, in fact, allowed. I believe that a Catholic acting as a witness for a Protestant baptism ought to clarify that they would aim to uphold the Catholic faith in the event that the Protestant parent(s) pass away or stop practicing their religion. Nevertheless, here is what a guideline of the Church states:

“The Catholic perspective holds that godparents, in both a liturgical and canonical context, ought to be members of the church or ecclesial group where the baptism takes place. … Nevertheless, due to the shared baptism and because of familial or friendly connections, an individual who is baptized and belongs to a different ecclesial community may serve as a witness during the baptism, but solely alongside a Catholic godparent. Similarly, a Catholic may act in this capacity for someone being baptized in a different ecclesial community” (Principles and Norms on Ecumenism, No. 98).